i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
