I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
