your thong is hanging out like whoa
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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