Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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