Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
