I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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