Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
