What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
