you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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