it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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