Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
