i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
