the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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