whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
