3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
