I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you win again, gameday.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
