she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize