I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
