If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
is wine microwaveable?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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