guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Quick, to the slutcave!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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