my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
