I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
