He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
