You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
