I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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