God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize