i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
