no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
