im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
