The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
