Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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