So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
