Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I could fuck to npr.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
