and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
