i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
