An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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