Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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