So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
