Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
