He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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