Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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