he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
