I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
