you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
