So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
