I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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