I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
