just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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