i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
