Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
be right there i have to get my cape
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
