Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
