I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
