How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
