Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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