The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
