We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
