Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
