I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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