I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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