Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
