does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
