just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize