Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
