I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
