then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize