I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
