what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't deserve a penis
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
